ok! back... felt quite sad when writing this post. donno y.. mayb i m listening to sad songs too.. well.. say something i rmb most for this past few week... 1 of my pri school friend jumped.. well.. he.. i donno him much ba.. can say i didnt tok to him b4.. but i jus know him.. cos he is too famous le... y famous? if u r tinking, i shall tell u.. cos he is those like ganster type.. so is like almost everytime creating trouble.. well... when i get to know the news that he jumped on tue morning, i was shocked.. i didnt really think that 1 of my friends around me will have this type of ending.. well.. so called donno him.. but i jus cant help to felt sad for him.. its really a pity for him to end his life so young... he jus jumped a block behind kx de.. haiz... his reason of jumping?? hmm.. i not sure too... some say is his father keep scolding him till he go jump... some say is he got chase by bad ppl.. than jump.. i donno which is true.. its alright.. better not to know too much... now i cant do anything. wat i can do now is jus to pray for him.. ok! another sad issue.. well.. mayb is scary issue ba.. i now is really afraid of it.. but i jus can force myself to get it done... don understand?? its alright.. let me explain.. its O'lvls.. understand le mah?? still dont?? its ok... i explain further... seniors take their result le.. some is gd some is bad.. those gd really very gd.. those bad really very bad as they failed eng.. eng.. my most lousy subject.. i really scare that i fail eng.. than i need to go ITE i don want.. i want go poly.. AT LEAST a poly.. any my other subjects is also falling.. haiz... god.. wat can i really do to help it? sr say we could have a study group (me,sr,sc) 1) can help sc in her studies.. as she never drop her sci.. 2) we could help each other in the subject.. well.. i really wonder if this will work.. as me sure will not concentrate and will start playing de.. i m really afraid.. pls god.. help me... well... tests... so many... everyweek at least have 1.. y cant i find some days free for me to rest? i really want to end everything.. and the only way is wat jess teach me.. death.. well i called jess not to tink abt death thus i will not too... i jus hope all shall end soon... 1 more year.. jus 1 year... hope i can go through it... now.. to parables issue.. i didnt go for meeting this week.. than in class, i asked joel got any special issue a not.. well really special sia.. make me real sian... now, parables shall change frm sat to sun... change.. Y CHANGE! change liao will mean i really will not have any full day to stay at home.. starting, i got to go for 2 event.. 1) parables meeting.. (every sat) 2) st john plays (every sun 2-5) i told gerri i quit st john plays and she agreed.. now.. all dash off again.. i need to go back.. or else i cant get my point and i cant leave the class.. cham lah.. wat can i do... now sat no more le.. but sun was taken away.. THE WHOLE DAY! i will b dead by the time i reach home.. well... to maple le... i tink i shall stop.. but can i? everytime i on com, i will have the urge to login maple.. its auto.. i cant stop.. althought i tink maple is boring.. but wat now really attract me is the friends in maple.. well funny hor... friends.. msn also can mah.. well i tell u... its different.. i donno y.. but i jus tink its different.. mayb the topic is different... chatting in maple make me feel happier.. haiz... now i got to stop it.. or else i really will not have enf time for studies... well.. studies.. even i have the time, will i really go take my book out and read? i tink i wont.. not tink is confirm... i will jus go lie on bed to rest than to go take book and read.. haiz... people say when u tell others wats troubling u, u will feel better... but.. the more i type in this post, the more sad i became.. well.. mayb i m jus some1 who is more suitable to keep those things in myself.. only share something happy ba... hmmm.. or is it the key to this prob not open yet? wat key?? r u wondering?? i m too.. but i tink is trust.. TRUST... wat is it? can some1 tell me?? in the church lesson, i learn abt it.. trust.. really a hard topic.. cos jus 1 matter will make u hard to trust some1.. have u all ever been through being betray?? me?? donno ba.. mayb have.. but don rmb.. but althought i don rmb, i knew it is there.. i been betray b4.. mayb that the reason y i kept all to myself?? haha... trust... wats tt... can some1 really tell me and make me understand?? who the hell can u really trust.. to me, no 1... esp human.. if u r human i tink i wont tell u anything.. sry if i offence any1.. i jus tink that way... i m afraid... really afraid... i hate to stay in my own world.. but i cant let any1 to come in my world.. m i eating my own words?? i tink i m.. haha... any1 can teach me how?? and wat to do next?? well to here le.. wat i really can say more?? nth ba.. i really don wanaa tink... really.. sometimes, i really hope i can jus cry and let everything in me to flow out.. well, mayb u will tink.. i can easily force my tears out.. yep.. i can.. less than 10sec.. but thats not the tears frm ur heart.. is jus an act.. an act of crying.. how i hope some where in the world there is a place to sell keys.. not those normal keys.. its the key to heart.. if every1 heart can b open, every1 use their heart to treat every1, wont it b nice? its mayb will maintain the peace.. haha.. i m leaving the topic.. haha.. li ti le.. haiz.. wat m i toking abt here?? i dont know.. i jus type.. auto typing.. wat come to my brain i type.. mayb that would b the real feeling i had.. cos u no need to tink.. well, i tink i really know how to do sad stories.. well i mean the compre.. chinese de.. chap 4 in the workbook got 2 compre.. both stories is a bit sad sad de.. but when i c the qns, i can write straight.. no need to tink.. well, mayb not the teachers ans.. and its not my ans.. but those words jus come out.. and i jus write.. wat i writing i also donno.. well suan le.. jus hope wont get 0 can le.. now i jus wish i can go to bed and slp all the way.. not dying i mean.. but jus a gd rest.. without tinking anything.. without any worries.. a peaceful sleep.. a slp that i want.. jus a good rest... those who read my blog, u mayb will tink its funny.. we only 16 this year.. really got as bad as i write mah? really like that meh?? i tell u.. every1 got different view.. grow up in different environment will cause different charater ppl.. i mayb is those who will tink to the bad side and stress myself.. so i will always living in sad and stress world.. wat i written here is jus my view and feel.. have comment? write at the tagboard ba.. well ok le.. looks like its real long le ba.. left 1 more hw undone.. the chinese.. news artical.. well finish it quickly and go have a gd time watching TV ba.. CDs haven watch finish yet... haiz.... sign off~~~
